fagtory-head-nejiki:

fagtory-head-nejiki:

I really like all the headcanons that associate Cheren and Cress with being FtM transgender… Like… It just makes sense in my mind… And it just would be perfect if it were true.

Like I could see Bianca keeping it a secrete because she would probably be the only one to…

Uh dude chill the fuck out? I wasnt going to even respond to this but like… Calm the fuck down. Alright. First off someone already made comment of the cress thing WHICH I STATED THAT I TYPED THIS HALF AWAKE as a ramble while trying to sleep. Second yes, I think it could work both ways. I think it could it be that he was born that way, or he simply loved Bianca so much and maybe there is something going on with her that she could only be with a male on a romantic level. Many times have I actually seen people get sex changes to be with someone they love, one of my deceased mothers friends actually happened to do that which is probably what influenced me to think of that. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean you can react like that alright? Perhaps instead of flipping your shit next time you should just ask nicely. I did appoligize about the cress thing, that was my fault for typing this half awake on a smart phone. But seriously. Typically if you don’t agree with something you don’t act like that.

Nope. This isn’t “not agreeing”. If you said “hey beef is delicious” then I’d disagree. I’ll explain it like this with a popular analogy:

If someone is flailing a stick around carelessly in a crowd of people and happens to hit you, do you calmly tell them, “hey, it wasn’t a good idea to wave that stick around, could you please stop?” or do you tell them “DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK OW WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT”

Because reading something triggering like that is exactly like being whacked. It’s extremely hurtful. 

And using excuses like “I was on a smartphone and half asleep” for posting that is just like me using “I was really fucking pissed off by cissexism and not thinking straight” for me losing my shit. It does not make it right, and does not excuse it. 

Is it even necessary to mention that your mother is deceased? Because that sounds a lot like guilt-tripping. I could be wrong, but I don’t see how that’s relevant. My sympathies for your loss, though. 

To explain:

No, it could not happen both ways. If you are non-binary identifying, you are either a boy, or you are a girl. If you are a girl and you get a “sex change” and have a penis and no breasts, you are still a girl. If you are declared female at birth but identify as male, whether you opt for surgery or not, you are male. That does not, and can not change. There is no “deciding you want to be male” because you want to be with someone. It’s like a lesbian saying “back when I was straight” when she means “back when I thought I was straight, but wasn’t actually straight because I was born this way”

Coming out as trans was the hardest fucking thing in my life. Do you have any idea what that entails? It’s not walking into the surgeon’s office and turning Wilma into Willy. I knew I was trans for YEARS before coming out but couldn’t because I knew it meant possibly losing my family, losing connections with old friends, leaving church, accepting that I had good reason to hate my body, and accepting that I would be losing all the privileges and rights I had as a member of the sex I was declared at birth. I didn’t want to be trans and no one wants it for themselves because it’s not fucking fun.

Years of fighting hare-brained therapists? Dysphoria? Fighting your own family so they accept you for who you are? Trips to the doctor, hoping she’ll finally, finally write you a letter so you can live your life and fucking breathe again only to hear that she won’t because god forbid she look bad by writing a letter to approve a transperson getting surgery? Binding your chest or tucking your penis every day for years on end, even though it hurts, knowing that even if therapists and surgeons cooperate, you couldn’t afford it and your parents won’t help you? Looking in the fucking mirror and hating a body that isn’t yours and hating yourself for not being okay with it? You don’t go through that FOR ANYONE. You go through it for YOU because YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT FOR YOURSELF TO LIVE COMFORTABLY IN YOUR OWN SKIN. 

And guess what? People I loved - formerly, even my own girlfriend - wanted me to “be” my assigned at birth sex. And I’m not. I’m not, and I won’t try to be anything I’m not for someone else. No one should. I don’t know what went on with your family friend but that is not typical, does not usually happen, and IMO, should never happen. I’m glad it worked for them, but that kind of situation is impossible today, because if you want any sort of procedure or hormone treatment, you have to go through YEARS of testing and therapy. “Someone doesn’t want me to be this sex so I wanna change it!” is not going to fly and is incredibly damaging to the struggles trans*people go through.

If Bianca can’t love a woman when she has a vagina, she can’t love a woman who has a penis because clearly she can’t be attracted to that woman. Women with vaginas? Women. Women with dicks? Women. If you have a binary identity you were born that way and it stays that way. Having a dick does not make you a man or a woman. 

Going on this headcanon that Bianca is straight and cannot possibly be attracted to Cheren for, you know, Cheren, they’d be either non-binary identifying transition (genderqueer or similar) or a ciswoman. NOT FtM.

I hope this makes you realize why I reacted the way I did. I was not just angry - I was hurt. If it’s any consolation, this is the first time I’ve ever completely lost my shit on someone. What I say to people who lose their shit on other people on the Internet is stunningly similar to exactly what you said. I’m being a massive as fuck-all hypocrite and breaking my own rules and I know it.

Ordinarily, I’d agree with you completely, but in the case of triggers, the line’s a bit fuzzy. I knew exactly what I was doing when I was writing that and knew I was wrong and have no excuse for how I acted, and I know I have no excuse. I can give you about twenty more reasons for why I flew off the handle, but I’m not making excuses for myself. Judging by the way you responded, I doubt you took me seriously or were hurt by what I said, and if that’s true, I’m glad for that. Some people are ignorant, and some people just don’t know and need to be educated about why what they are saying is wrong. You seem to be the second, and I’m glad for that.

Go ahead and RP what you want with fictional characters, but please know what you’re talking about before bringing things like this up in public because it’s damaging to real people. 

I’ll delete the post and move this to my shit no one cares about Tumblr.